I have been feeling flat the last while – the arrival of my family from Australia has in some ways lifted me from depression only to crash after they have returned home – It was never going to be long enough , I was never going to see them enough . On the positive I have seen that despite what they have gone through they have come through it in a way that makes me feel very proud of them . All four live with my Bil , the boys no contact with their mother – my sister at all . The little girl has access for 4 days twice a month – how long that will continue I dont know – I fear for her when she becomes a stroppy teen with an independant spirit that does not bend to the will of my sister .
And its lovely to see answered prayer – its over 2 years since i found out they were at risk but didnt know who from . As time went on I knew it wasnt from my bil but it still took a while to accept it was from my own sister . Then i cried out to God to keep them safe and i remember in particular praying that they where placed with the right parent – cause I sure didnt know who that was .
I wish I could post picture of us all together – we had a lovely chinese at my house one night , a day out with other family , a meal with my whole family and of course they had to do it with pip`s family . Not a restful holiday for them at all . He hopes to bring them back in 2 years – that would be wonderful but expensive and of course the court case to get permission – my sister made it so difficult ( and expensive) .
So loads to pray about and much more to give thanks for . I feel loss, and guilt that Im not there to help , guilt that shes my sister and that she chose to follow in the footsteps of our mother . Pain for my BIL, and Im praying that God will place someone in is life , its no suprise a couple of days ago i was prayig for them all as i was driving , my eyes filled with tears when i thought of him on his own, the sun was shining through the clouds and for a brief second there was a dove – the dove of peace – Gods peace and understanding over him -we have an awesome God.