The past while or quite a long while I have being doing what I can , when I can .Been a lot of bed days and days where I have been in the pretend world of everything is normal . But after such a long time of nothingness this is good.
I have accepted that I have been left with depression , I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks . And Im trying to ditch the guilt . Guilt of what has has happened but also the guilt that as a Christian Im not meant to be depressed – so I have been told. Lack of faith so Im told and I have to say i have heard this school of thought before – I say rubbish – without my faith , without trusting In God, without him firmly by my side I wouldnt be here – simple
Im a lot stronger than I have ever given myself credit for
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength .
Im back in church , well actually singing in church – which is a scary thought for the congregation – focusing on God , reading my Bible , praying and writing poetry again – all these things are me or part of me – so little steps have almost become a giant leap .
God is good .