Goodness

Recently  I had thoughts about starting a blog again , so I decided to look up my old blog and while I was never very faithful in writing it , it did cover what looking back was an important part of my life , Or perhaps its what is not written that is the key . When bad things happen to you , its your decision  who to share with  to not in this case . Certainly events where not something to be shared publicly on a blog . Even is no one reads it or people are nameless faceless  people hiding behind a computer screen . In this case it wasnt mine to share though so much pain was mine .

over 2years since i was last here , clearly a lot of updates  and I cant make head or tale of  much of it . Why do we often want to start new , as if the past never happened , its the past that makes me who we are today , How I handled it , where was God on my journey or more to the point where did I allow him to be . Well he has been so faithful to me  and I have clung on for dear life to him like a sailor thrown into the stormy sea , often holding on by nothing more than a rope – I have no idea if i will start a new one , continue here  or work out how to delete it – its been 2 years – no rush .

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Excited

I am actually  excited.  For ever so long  I have struggled with  God’s plan for me . I believe that we are all called to help further the kingdom to  blatantly  pinch a well known  phrase.

Some of us are called to ministry , some to youth work, missionary work , the list goes on  as do the gifts he gives us .  Prophesy and  tongues are  obvious gifts but it could be  God has given you a sympathetic and kind heart and a listening  ear.

 A talent for music , a lovely  singing voice  sadly  doesnt appear to have been given to me  , ironically a    real love for both  has at times felt a bit of a downer . But recently  God has been using  both to administer healing to me , through listening and singing in my church praise band ( background lol). Not only that  but i  have found him “giving” me a song  because it has a message for me  and this is being  backed up  with   the scripture – A friend texting me the scripture , picking up my Bible and  opening  at the right  place , a daily devotional –

I  need to stress that this is not about me listening  to a song and loving it  because I love worship music  , more important  its  about worshiping God . To bathing in his glory  through worship  and listening to  each word and focusing on him . but when  its  meant for me there is a connection that I dont have when its something I like .

5 years of troubles  seemed to be coming to a end , then a blip  almost  at the  beginning of the year , it felt like a battle .

 

 

?????

I have been challenged  or should I say I have challenged myself after reading

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/distressing-disguise-or-distraction–

 

I think it says everything that can be negative about religion and very little about Christ –   Jesus came   to save us to give us the  chance of everlasting  life , of spending  eternity with him .

But he also  put in place examples of how we should live our lifes till that day comes – We arent meant to sit on our butts , twiddling our thumbs,  nor are we meant to build big lovely churches and then sit  on a Sunday patting ourselves on our backs   thinking how wonderful we are for our wonderful God .

He came and he got down in the gutter  with us all  and thats where he wants us – continuing his work  on earth . Ministering  to those in need , opening our  arms and hearts to the down and out .

The story above is about a perfect little church not wanting anything to disrupt or ruin  their perfect little world- How Jesus weeped over this .  What does it say  to the greater community , to those who think Christians sit in there  amazing  churches while people suffer with their doors closed.

And what does it say about me , what do I do  to follow his work , what witness am I  and what can I do to make a difference ?

Where Im at

The past while or quite a long while I have being doing what I can , when I can .Been a lot of bed days and days where I have been in the pretend world of everything is normal . But after such a long time of nothingness this is good.

I have accepted that I have been left with depression , I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks . And Im trying to ditch the guilt . Guilt of what has has happened but also the guilt that as a Christian Im not meant to be depressed – so I have been told. Lack of faith so Im told and I have to say i have heard this school of thought before – I say rubbish – without my faith , without trusting In God, without him firmly by my side I wouldnt be here – simple

Im a lot stronger than I have ever given myself credit for
Phil 4:13
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength .

Im back in church , well actually singing in church – which is a scary thought for the congregation – focusing on God , reading my Bible , praying and writing poetry again – all these things are me or part of me – so little steps have almost become a giant leap .
God is good .

Sometimes I wonder will the blustery days ever stop  . Will I ever feel as if something lost within me is found again . I feel incomplete. God is here but the connection is lost , my fault I know . He is faithful and just  and yet I am not able to feel him .  Faith is built within, its not proved by facts and science   so why  do I feel I know he’s there but ………. I know he made everything , I know he loves us , and I know he made the biggest sacrifice possible – his son  but I feel alone  . As if all his blessings are for others not for me , I want to reach out and take his hand  but I cant find it

NO MEANS NO , EXCEPT WHEN IT MEANS MAYBE …….

This is my very favourite time of year . And the last few days have been everything I love , soft sunshine  low in the sky. These warm days are even more special with a crispness about them . All the beautiful colours that only Autumn brings , natures last splash out before winter sets in .

A time to take stock of how the year has been for us and prepare for the winter . Often we do things because we have and feel stuck unable to stop for fear of letting people down , it can be hard to let go of things we have outgrown or that have outgrown us . And as we make these changes its important that the free time we make isn’t pounced on by those eager to fill it for us .

Learning to say no is an important lesson often we learn after many mistakes . The need to feel we have to give a reason means a “No” can become a “maybe” . The not at the moment can become “soon”. And before you know it you are signed up to start helping for a temporary period of time till they get someone permanent . Then you realise 5 years down the line you are still doing it . Wondering “How did that happen ?” Learn to say No graciously and don’t feel justified to give a long list of reasons. An acquaintance  give me a piece of advise recently , she never says yes on the spot – even if its ringing back 10 min’s later to say thats fine –

Maybe God wants you to have this space to reflect on him , he will let you know when to start a new journey . Wait with patience to do his bidding and not that of others.

A Blessing

what a beautiful thought , absolute joy and what a beautiful poem !

A Blessing
by James Wright

Just off the highway to Rochester, Minnesota,
Twilight bounds softly forth on the grass.
And the eyes of those two Indian ponies
Darken with kindness.
They have come gladly out of the willows
To welcome my friend and me.
We step over the barbed wire into the pasture
Where they have been grazing all day, alone.
They ripple tensely, they can hardly contain their happiness
That we have come.
They bow shyly as wet swans. They love each other.
There is no loneliness like theirs.
At home once more,
They begin munching the young tufts of spring in the darkness.
I would like to hold the slenderer one in my arms,
For she has walked over to me
And nuzzled my left hand.
She is black and white,
Her mane falls wild on her forehead,
And the light breeze moves me to caress her long ear
That is delicate as the skin over a girl’s wrist.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom.

I dont wear make up at church

So after a worse year than the one before my last pitiful attempt at returning to blogging Im back at church , a different person , one who doesnt wear mascara cause its easier to cry with out it and when your dear friend uses her sleeve to wipe away your tears your arent messing up her jacket .

I have lost that child like faith where you believe God will look after you and protect you , yet my faith in him is stronger than ever.
Is if a mistake to tell our children that he will protect you against harm when clearly he doesnt , rather he is with you and cuddles you up in a warm blanket even when you are unaware . Surrounds you with people to pray for you when the words and thoughts choke you .
Maybe then not so many would fall by the way side when the shit hits the fan. Recently I felt anger and tearful when the childrens address told them what I see as false promises for now . People do get sick , accidents do happen and there are evil people in the world who do harm but more importantly God is always there even when I am not .

Back to church

Today is a big day – Church . I have been once since June and its time to get back- I actually was ready to go last week but my son took sick as the very last minute. Theres a lunch after so im feeling a bit stressed by the thought of it

It was spring now its Autumn

Its a bit of a shock to the system when you start to come out of the fog to find that while the world in a sense stopped – it actually didnt – People carried on , a bit like when you bump into a friend you havent seen for a long time – their baby is now running around, practically ready for school , your aware that time has passed but now how long .
it was spring now its autumn kind of thing and i dont know how it happened . I sort of know it was march and now its september – very little in between connects – you can only blame meds so much . I have lost a couple of real life friends in this time , and a heap of on line ones . Some have battled on regardless on the reaction they got or failed to get . Gosh must have been tough for them . We all need affirmation in what we do , whether its work or relationships . I know she is my friend because …………
we have fun
we do things
shes there for me
we talk
we listen
we cry we laugh
kinda stuff.
well im sure they didnt get much feed back from me for a lone while but im so blessed by them hanging in there. I dont think one will know how much it meant her just to texts telling me what was going on in her life – some not great but it till made me feel valued – Thanks Hun

Painted smile

We walk down the street , we bump into people we havent seen for an age and we ask they how they are . Fine they reply , we dont wait for the answer and this is on a good day . On a bad day we mighten even ask . Unaware that the persons painted smile stuck on is covering more pain and heartbreak that we can imagine.Oh maybe we do but dont want to open the can of worms that might follow. I guess im that person at the moment , theres a lot of us out there .
This blog has been my painted smile – a smile i havent managed to hold on for the last 6 months , i dont think i even will again – but with Gods grace maybe i can start being honest

At the moment , for the last 2 years life has Sucked – time to get better

Open Doors – Egypt

Six Christian brothers sent to prison after police brutality

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 [NIV]
Egypt

Six Christian brothers have been sentenced to three years in prison with hard labor for resisting arrest and assaulting authorities after they opened their café during Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting.

In September last year, police officers raided the café in Port Sa’id, a city in Egypt’s Nile delta, overturning tables, breaking chairs and smashing glasses and hookah pipes. Ashraf, Magdy, Osama, Nabil, Walid and Hany, all from the Morris Ghatas family, were beaten with sticks, leaving two with broken arms and a third needing stitches for a head wound.

There is no law in Egypt under which the brothers could be prosecuted for opening their café during Ramadan. When they tried to defend their café, the brothers, all in their 30s, were arrested and charged with resisting arrest and assaulting authorities. They were held for 30 days before being released on bail, set at 12,000 Egyptian pounds (US$2,173). This week they were convicted of resisting arrest and assaulting authorities and sentenced accordingly.

At the trial last week, defense counsel showed a video of the incident shot by an onlooker as evidence of police brutality. However, the footage did not sway Judge Mohammed Hassan El-Mahmody.

The brothers intend to appeal.

Source: Compass Direct
Please pray:

1. Remember the six Morris Ghatas brothers in jail. Pray that they would not be victimised in prison but would receive God’s strength and be a source of encouragement to those around them.
2. Pray for the authorities in Egypt, that they would treat all citizens, including the sizeable Christian population, justly and legally.
3. Pray for Christians living in Muslim societies that they would be given wisdom as they seek to be culturally sensitive to those around them.

For further news from the Persecuted Church visit http://www.opendoorsuk.org/news

Thank you for praying with us.
John
Communications Team

Open Doors – Christmas apeal

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. Matthew 25:40 [NIV]

Send a Special Gift this Christmas

Dear Friend,

Mary* is a beautiful eight year old girl who lives in a desolate Muslim village in Egypt. Her story is both heartbreaking and filled with hope…

“My name is Mary and I am 8 years old. My mum & dad used to beat me and my friends didn’t love me. I wished to find someone who truly loved me. One day I heard about the children’s Club in our village and I learned that Jesus loves me and that He wants to change my life. Thank you, Lord Jesus that you died for me. Thank you that you redeemed me. Lord Jesus, I love you.”

Mary is just one of over 200,000 children in Egypt, northern Sudan and Iraq who have heard the Gospel of Jesus during summer Children’s Clubs. Mary’s heart has been turned from hate to love by the power of the Gospel! Mary’s story – made possible through Open Doors’ sponsored Children’s Clubs – provides hope, not just for Mary, but for thousands of children like her.

This Christmas, please will you remember Mary? The children love these camps: they introduce them to Jesus and give them real hope for the future. Open Doors is putting in place a £250,000 programme. Not only will it provide the means to run Children’s Clubs throughout the region, but the programme will also provide Bible stories and materials for each child to take home.

A gift of £20 can provide 10 children like Mary with Bible stories, crayons and a t-shirt at Children’s Club!

A gift of £60 can train and resource a youth leader with a Study Bible!

Additionally this fund will support an ambitious programme to train and equip a new generation of youth leaders capable of mentoring teenagers, and providing hope not only to the children of today, but establishing a foundation for the Church of tomorrow.

Our work wouldn’t be possible without your support. This Christmas please remember Mary. If you have not given a donation please make the time to do it now!

Finally, please can I ask you to take the time to forward this Christmas appeal to members of your church, friends and family and to visit the Open Doors website for more information on how you can support the Persecuted Church.

Click here to watch Eddie’s Christmas Appeal video »

Have a very blessed Christmas

Advent : The Avent wreath

The Advent Wreath- In my church all white but i came across this and it made me think a bit more deepy so thought I would share it

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And again, Isaiah says, “The Root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; the Gentiles will hope in him.” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 15:12-13). Traditionally, during the Christmas season we have an “Advent Wreath” in our Churches, and this is remarkably celebrated in all Denominations, including Orthodox, Catholic, liturgical, Mainline and Evangelical. The Advent Wreath is a venerable tradition that cuts across denominational and theological boundaries. It dates to the beginning of the 19th century in Europe. This Advent Wreath is arranged with 4 or 5 Advent candles, 3 or 4 of which are in a circle, along with one in the center, all on a base of evergreens each has a powerful message for us about our Lord. This has prevailing imagery we should not take for granted or consider just another holiday decoration. · The Wreath: The wreath itself means “victory” as Christ’s victory over sin so He can save us. The Advent Wreath has 4 or 5 candles that are arranged in a circle symbolizing Christ’s eternity, as a circle has no beginning and has no end, it is a symbol for God, Who is eternal and thus without beginning or end. The evergreens mean He is “ever with us,” they are usually pine branches or holly that are used as a base that represents anticipation, newness, renewal and His everlastingness. The red berries of the holly represent the shedding of Christ’s blood. · The Candles: The Advent candles mean the light of God coming into the world through the birth of His Son. This refers to the significance that Christ is the Light of the world. When they are lit, the illumination is to symbolize the Christ of eternity and His coming as the “Light of the World” and our worship and honor of His most precious gift of His Grace and mercy. These candles also have a color theme too, purple, blue, pink or rose and while. The first two or three are purple meaning royalty and this is also the color of suffering and the darkness of sin, connecting Jesus’ birth and crucifixion and His triumph over sin. Blue means sky and life, pink means joy, and white means purity. Each candle has a special meaning: o The first candle (purple) “CANDLE OF HOPE” means His promise and hope. We can have hope because God is faithful and will keep the promises He made to us. Our hope comes from God. (Romans 15:12-13) o The second candle (purple) “CANDLE OF PREPARATION” means His light and preparation. Preparation means to ‘get ready’. “Help us to be ready to welcome YOU, O GOD!” (Luke 3:4-6) (Some traditions combine the first two) o The third candle (pink or rose) “CANDLE OF JOY” means the angels sang a message of JOY! (Luke 2:7-15) o The fourth candle (purple or blue) “CANDLE OF LOVE” symbolizes Christ love. God sent His only Son to earth to save us, because He loves us! (John 3:16-17) (some traditions omit this one) o The fifth candle (white) “CHRIST CANDLE” symbolizes the incarnation, the heart and reason of the season, God giving light to the world. Its location is in the center as Christ’s light is central and radiant. This reminds us that Jesus is the spotless Lamb of God, sent to wash away our sins! (in wreaths that have 4 candles, it is in the circle among the rest of the candles) · Each candle is lighted during the worship services each week in progression until Christmas Eve or Christmas Day when the last candle is lit. (some denominations and traditions have different color schemes and some only four candles) Each week the new unlit candle for that week is lighted, and then the previous candles are re-lighted. A family is sent up to do the lighting as a passage is read, a carol sang and or a prayer said. The four weeks are a period of waiting also signifying the four centuries of waiting between the last prophet Malachi and the birth of Jesus. All five candles should continue to be lighted in worship services through Epiphany on January 6 (epiphany means “to show,” is the climax of the Christmas Season and the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” It is observed to denote the coming of the wise men bringing gifts and their worship to Christ).

Avent: The meaning of Advent

The Meaning of Advent

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. (Isaiah 7:14)

“Advent” simply means coming as in Christ is coming, and for us now He has arrived. This is referring to His birth in history and in humanity. It meant the welcoming or the arrival of a special king and for us; it is our King of kings. This is what the Old Testament prophecies foretold concerning Jesus’ Incarnation, the Word made flesh for our hope and Atonement that brought us our deliverance. Advent represents our expectation, anticipation, and preparation for who Christ is and what He has done for us. He arrived into the world as a human being, being fully God and fully man. He came to identify as one of us, as the Son of Man, as a baby born in a manger. He came for us, He came for you and He comes into our lives and into our hearts. He is coming again in great power and glory to bring His Kingdom into fruition.

www.thereprobablyis.com

I think this is a great idea so am passing this on – please feel free to do so as well…………

Richard Dawkins and the British Humanist Association have raised over £119,000 for a nationwide poster campaign with the slogan “There’s Probably No God! No Stop Worrying, And Enjoy Your Life!”.

As Churches we need to thank Prof. Dawkins and the BHA for this wonderful opportunity they have presented us with as it will undoubtedly get people wondering all the more about God’s existence. Instead of being all negative and cross with this campaign our plan is to engage with it positively and turn the tables on these outspoken atheists.

www.thereprobablyis.com has been set up to be available to churches of all denominations to point people to when they see these posters going up in their towns and cities. In response to the atheists saying “There’s Probably No God!” we as Christians need to stand up and say “There Probably Is!”. http://www.thereprobablyis.com is based around a simple idea of presenting normal, intelligent, sensible people’s stories of why they believe in God, and allow those who see the atheist campaign to decide for themselves.

We are inviting Christians from across the UK, from any background and denomination, to submit their story of why they believe in God. This can be a testimony of how you became a Christian, or perhaps better still – why some years on you continue to believe in God. What has God done in your life? What evidence have you seen or experienced first hand which excites you and convinces you still that God is real, and that He loves you?

Visit http://www.thereprobablyis.com today and submit your own personal story of the truth and love of God.

Monday Music: Maire Brennan

As Promised

CARE FOR THE FAMILY

I was asked by a friend would  I be a stewart and help out at a care for the family event .  http://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/ I have been to several events and attended one of their courses quite a while ago about parenting teens – It was while my teens where quite young and alot of it I have found helpful over the last year or two , especially the importance of keeping the lines of communication open .

Thursday night was called  Motherhood- the rollercoaster years , They had a couple of good speakers including Jean Gibson who works for Care for the family – I had just finished reading her book called Seasons of womanhood  which I can really reccomend. Its about different women at different stages of their life and there faith as they continues life journey. You can find out about Jean here –  http://jeangibson.co.uk/

Also Moya Brennan was  singing and sharing her story which was awesome who some will know from Clannad. I will save some of her music for Monday and it was so special to hear some of the meaning behind her songs http://www.moyabrennan.com/

All in all a worthwhile evening

OPEN DOORS: IRAQ

Wave of violence forces families to evacuate Iraqi city

“Who should not revere you, O King of the nations? This is your due. Among all the wise men of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is no one like you. ”

– Jeremiah 10:7 [NIV]

Fresh waves of violence are sweeping through the northern Iraqi city of Mosul causing thousands of families to flee the city. Sources report that over 15 Christians have been killed in Mosul in the last few weeks. Much of the killing seems to be at random. One victim was a 15-year-old boy who was shot while playing in the streets with his Muslim friends while another was a man in a wheelchair. Open Doors contacts estimate that 1,600 Christian families have now left the city to escape the violence.

Christian families report that varied measures are being used to make Christians flee the city such as warnings or threatening letters thrown into Christian’s houses. Checkpoints, some official some bogus, have been installed around the city, stopping cars and instructing Christians to leave within 24 hours.

A family, temporarily living in a local church told how fifteen young masked men stormed their house. They collected the mobile phones first, and then they asked if there were men in the house. Fortunately the husband was not in the living room at that moment and could flee to neighbors via the backdoor. The family was instructed to leave their three story house. They were not allowed to take anything with them. Finally the house was destroyed with explosives.

“Many of the people fleeing now are those who virtually are too poor to have fled earlier”, Yassr says. “There are even people who want to flee Mosul, but just cannot. Last week I asked an anxious father why he didn’t flee the city with his family. He responded that they did not have a car or any money, so simply had no choice than to stay.”

Open Doors has this week launched an immediate response by providing food packages, blankets and cookers for around 200 families  but with winter approaching additional help will be needed. Aid is also coming from the Iraqi Ministry of Displacement and Migration and other relief organisations operating in the region.

Source: Open Doors

Prayer points:

1. Prayer for ongoing peace in the region and wisdom for government officials as they seek to address outbreaks of violence and the issues behind it.

2. Please lift up before the Lord the families who have lost beloved ones in the last few weeks and those going through traumatic experiences. Pray for those who lost all their property and personal belongings dear to them.

3. Please pray that relief campaigns will be bring aid to those most in need and that there will be enough support for the Iraqi Christians.

For more information please click here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7671609.stm

Thank you for praying with us.

John

Music Monday : Iron & Wine – Flightless Bird

I absolutey love this song by Iron  & Wine ,  I like  a lot of their music – its from the movie Twilight which  I might actually  get around to seeing sometime, that would sure make a change form the usual animated films

Let me know if you post a music monday